Written By: Tessa May Smith

Number 1: Trust yourself; you know what’s best for you.

If I can leave an impression on anyone about anything, I hope it’s this. Put simply: the energy you radiate when you present yourself to others, is the energy you are saying you are willing and ready to receive; so do your best to make sure it’s positive vibes! You know you best, and if you are unapologetically yourself, feelin yourself all confident and successful, then you’re naturally going to make people more comfortable to be around you.

Additionally, this energy you put out there should empower others that if you’re confident enough to radiate your own trust in yourself, then they should too. It’s all about building each other up, not taking each other down.

Number 2: Prioritize your well-being.

Look, if you’re not mentally/emotionally “there” when you sit down to work, nothing is really going to get done, and you’re only torturing yourself because you’ll get into your own head with negative thoughts at wondering why you can’t do this. If you need a break, you need a break, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

Number 3: It takes time to make time.

Piggy-backing onto point number two: things done in a rush aren’t usually done with the right amount of care and precision that should go into the activity. This doesn’t give you the freedom to take forever and ever to complete something – because then you might never finish it – but set up a comfortable, disciplined schedule for yourself to get things done – while still being mindful of your mental well-being.

Number 4: It’s okay to say no.

What I’m learning to be a really important lesson in my life, is to prioritize and choose commitments skillfully, not just saying “yes” to everything, thinking that it will always result in more open doors and opportunities. Most times, of course it will, but only if I’m in the right headspace and heartspace to be able to accept it and be really committed to the engagements I make. As I said, it takes time to make time, and that doesn’t mean you have to say “yes” to every opportunity. Say “yes” as much as you can, but be aware of when you need rest to rejuvenate your spirit.

Number 5: Don’t listen to reply, listen to listen.

Guilty as charged, this is something that I’m personally still working on improving about myself. And it so easily happens! We get easily wrapped into intriguing conversations and we have things to say in response that relate well to what’s being said… But are we really giving the person we’re talking to our undivided listening skills?

Of course, there are times when back and forth conversation is just natural, it’s just about feeling the vibe and knowing when someone is confiding in you in hope to be truly heard. While I’m on this point, for the love of God, when someone’s talking to you, don’t be looking at your phone. This, in my opinion, is basically worse than interrupting or listening to reply, because it implies that you don’t have that person’s attention at all.

Human interactions, at their core, are one of the most real things we can attach ourselves to in the midst of this crazy life, so don’t take them for granted by thinking about what you have to contribute in exchange for what someone is trying to tell you – it could broaden what you thought you had to say, or change your mind completely.

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Instagram: @thetessagram

Check out Tessa’s bi-weekly column for the The Peterborough Examiner here!

And check out the fb page for Chatability, Tessa is the Founder.

About Tessa:

Tessa is an incredible young woman. I instantly knew she had a spark inside of her and wisdom to share with others. Tessa is a two-time cancer survivor and an amputee; however, she does not let this define or dictate what she can and can’t do in life!

Tessa has a passion for disability activism. She has been an ambassador with The Terry Fox Foundation, and with SickKids for 6 years. Tessa says these roles and experiences have helped her share her story and be able to motivate others. Tessa is an amazing soul, an incredible writer, and a true inspiration to all. ☺️