Honestly, it’s because I was emotionally unstable otherwise.
I was so desperate for a boyfriend that I was vulnerable and interpreted anything as flirting.
There was one particular guy that I really really liked, who I thought had feelings for me as well. We texted throughout the day every single day for about a month, including good morning and good night texts, until one day he ghosted. To this day I still do not know why, and that really hurt me. I thought to myself “everything was going so well, I thought he genuinely asked me about my day because he cared” and then I started thinking it was a ‘me’ problem. It was very self-destructive. I cried over this guy for several days and we didn’t even date.
Then one day, after a texting therapy session with my cousin, I realized that I had to adjust my crown and keep on going.
I stopped romanticising over the “what if’s” and started living for myself, and myself only.
That decision has made all the difference. Too often then not I have found myself heart-broken over guys that I never even dated. It became too toxic and I needed to make a change.
Currently, in my single state, I’ve never been happier. I have taken the time to focus on myself, and learn to love myself which I realized was a big missing piece to my happiness.
I truly believe that you can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself.
Being single is hard. Especially when you have been in previous long term relationships and you know what it feels like to be in love. I was ‘in love’ once. I miss those feelings of dating your “best friend,” having someone to take you on cute dates, and getting those warm cuddles at night. But I keep my head up and my hopes high because I know I won’t be single forever.
At 23, I’m still a baby. I have a lot of things to accomplish, learn, and understand about myself and my life. If a guy comes into my life, I’ll embrace him but if he cannot embrace my confidence and independence then he is not my man. But the same goes for him. I want my man to be confident in himself, be sure of his goals and dreams, and then together we can help each other grow and support one another.
This is my season of singleness and I choose to embrace it.
So to all of my single ladies reading this post today. Use this time to focus on yourself. Live your life for YOU. Just know that when you’re ready THE RIGHT man will walk into your life. 💕